she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
