my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
