Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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