I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
love makes seman taste better
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
