i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
