forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
