I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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