apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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