i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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