READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
