you guys were way drunker than both of me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
