white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
