it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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