it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
