that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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