Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
