Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
