We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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