Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
