Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize
