he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
