I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
