laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
