who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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