I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
