so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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