I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
