Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
