NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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