You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just pee around me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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