This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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