i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The best revenge is premature balding
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
