I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
