just come out here and I will go home with you...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize