I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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