the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
