I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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