I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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