hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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