He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
