we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
