There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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