my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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