two words...techno handjob
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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