there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
