so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
