he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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