Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
