I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Mom said you looked used
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Come on in and take your pants off
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
