she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
